The Fastest Finger in the West
Tony Snesko
San Diego, California
Tom had been serving process for me for two years and I had given him an assignment to serve a woman with a court order regarding her divorce. She was living with her boyfriend in San Diego. Tom returned to my office the following morning and told me that the woman’s boyfriend had posted No Trespassing signs all over the front of his house and garage. He said that when he knocked on the door, a wild-eyed, frizzy-haired guy answered and told him that if he ever came back, he would kick his butt. Tom, not a very tall person, handed me the paper and said, “I’m not going back there.”
I called Jimmy, my 6’6”, 300 pound process server, told him Tom’s story and asked him to serve the papers. Jimmy returned the next morning and said, “The woman’s boyfriend seems insane and said that he would shoot me if I returned.” He handed me the paper and told me that he didn’t want to call the man’s bluff.
I took the paper and drove to the woman’s residence at 6:00 am the following morning. Her pick-up truck was parked in the driveway, so I drove up the street, parked my MR2 and waited. At about 7:30 AM, I saw the woman leave the house and approach the truck. I sped down the street and pulled up behind her truck, jumped out and served her. She turned and ran screaming into the house. As I opened my car door, and started to get in, her wild-eyed, frizzy-haired, crazy boyfriend came running out, stopped about 20 feet from me and pointed a semi-automatic pistol at me and said, “Your dead!”
During my career as a process server I have had 6 guns pulled on me but this was the first one that truly had me believing that I was about to die. I had one leg in the car and knew there was no way I could get in and leave fast enough.
Without thinking, in a knee-jerk reaction, I angrily slammed my door shut, walked up to the man, put my index finger in his face and said, “You are under arrest!” His eyes opened wide, he mumbled something unintelligible and then put the gun behind his back and ran into the house. I couldn’t believe it. I blew on the tip of my index finger, put it back in the holster and belly laughed all the way back to my office. My knees were a little shaky for an hour or two, but my self-confidence had increased ten-fold.